I know clinical research is the backboard of the scientific community, but sometimes it just doesn’t quite jive with my personal reality. The human experience is so very unique, subjective and tailored to each individual’s unparalleled existence that I just don’t think it possible to narrow phenomena down to likelihoods.
Hypothetically speaking, perhaps some particular event does happen repeatedly in a certain circumstance and that particular thing is shown through a well-controlled study. For example, let’s say a scientific study says that statistically, second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. Perhaps this well-controlled study is repeatable and valid. So what? What does this mean for people who are on their second marriage? Do they give up? Does it mean that every second marriage is doomed? Does it mean any one who happens to have made a wrong turn in life should go through doubting the existence of happiness because a scientific study says it is likely to not happen the second time around? This is just one example of many, but I think it stands to say that empiricism is so very limited.
Call me crazy, but I just don’t think scientific findings hold the credibility to direct our life actions. I think when we start allowing scientific findings to direct our choices we give up a certain essence of living- we become dependent on the guessing game of science. Scientific findings change with the wind and I would rather base my life on a rock than a breeze. I respect scientists for better trying to understand our world, but sometimes I just want to tell them to stop. There are things we will never understand and things we were never meant to understand. Well-designed scientific studies that can be replicated might offer a tiny glimpse in the direction of truth, but only the One True Artist of our universe can define life. I’m content to trust His brush strokes over the American Psychological Association any day.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Being miserable (re-posted from 2010)
E. Stanley Jones writes:
"The most miserable people in this world are the people who are self-centered, who don't do anything for anyone except themselves. They are centers of misery with no exception...on the contrary, the happiest people are those that deliberately take on sorrows and troubles of others. Their hearts sing with a strange, wild joy, automatically and with no exceptions" (Disciplines of the Holy Spirit, p. 117).
Shane Claiborne writes:
"There are times I have been very frustrated with wealthy folks for hoarding their stuff. But now I know enough rich folks to know the loneliness that is all too familiar to many of them. I read a study comparing the health of a society with its economics, and one of the things it revealed is that wealthy countries like ours have the highest rates of depression, suicide, and loneliness. We are the richest and most miserable people in the world" (The Irresistible Revolution, p. 56).
"The most miserable people in this world are the people who are self-centered, who don't do anything for anyone except themselves. They are centers of misery with no exception...on the contrary, the happiest people are those that deliberately take on sorrows and troubles of others. Their hearts sing with a strange, wild joy, automatically and with no exceptions" (Disciplines of the Holy Spirit, p. 117).
Shane Claiborne writes:
"There are times I have been very frustrated with wealthy folks for hoarding their stuff. But now I know enough rich folks to know the loneliness that is all too familiar to many of them. I read a study comparing the health of a society with its economics, and one of the things it revealed is that wealthy countries like ours have the highest rates of depression, suicide, and loneliness. We are the richest and most miserable people in the world" (The Irresistible Revolution, p. 56).
Saturday, October 1, 2011
How to go red in 4 easy steps
Step 1: Examine your front door and take note if it is ugly, plain, and white.
Step 2: Test a (preferably loud) color on the front of your door. Be sure and paint a big square right smack in the middle of your door just to be safe. This way there is no changing your mind; you are going to have to paint this door.
Step 3: If you start to feel dizzy from the oil based fumes, put on a pretty blue mask. Fight the urge to act out a scene from ER or House and continue painting.
Step 4: Stand back and look at what an amazing job you did painting your front door. Give yourself a pat on the back and drink a glass of wine to celebrate.
Step 2: Test a (preferably loud) color on the front of your door. Be sure and paint a big square right smack in the middle of your door just to be safe. This way there is no changing your mind; you are going to have to paint this door.
Step 3: If you start to feel dizzy from the oil based fumes, put on a pretty blue mask. Fight the urge to act out a scene from ER or House and continue painting.
Step 4: Stand back and look at what an amazing job you did painting your front door. Give yourself a pat on the back and drink a glass of wine to celebrate.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Happy birthday my heart!
My darling baby girl is no longer a baby. Brooke Evangelina turned two today. I can barely fathom that this little toddling ball of diapers will soon be skipping out the door to her first day of school. How fast this time has flown and how much my life has changed (for the better, I might add) in these past couple of years is remarkable to me still. Happy birthday my precious girl!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Myth: The best things in life are free
We have all heard the infamous saying "the best things in life are free", but I wholeheartedly and firmly disagree. It is my experience that tells me otherwise, and while I am not speaking in financial terms, the best things in life definitely do not come without great cost. In fact, the best things in life are what cost us the most- the most hard work, self-control, patience and sacrifice. If we are going to be quoting famous sayings, let's go with "anything worth having in life doesn't come easy". To prove this fact I want to briefly look at two main areas of my life.
Faith- Jesus became front and center in my life when I was sixteen. I had a couple of rocky years when I first hit the ground running; trying to live out Christianity as a high school student did not prove to be super smooth sailing for me. In college I began to realize the work I would have to put in to grow in my faith. It meant choosing some new friends who could encourage me in my walk. It meant daily obedience in studying God's word. It meant dying daily to my own flesh- and my flesh can be pretty tough to kill. It still means those same things today. I fall short many days and am thankful for His grace. Every time I fall, I get back up and continue walking in the light. Living out my faith is certainly not easy, but it's oh so worth it.
"I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God's heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14
Health - Oh how I have been around the block a time or two battling my own self-image. I have gained weight, lost it, gained it again, and lost it once more (not counting pregnancy)! My best friend Sarah told me that she saw only slight differences in my weight from pictures where I weighed more (every girl needs a best friend like Sarah), but the struggle was very extreme for me in a psychological sense. I finally accepted that if being healthy is so important to me, I am going to have to put in hard work. Sometimes I don't want to say no to extra ice cream or wake up early to workout. Most of the time I really want seconds and thirds when it comes to dessert actually. But each day I try to remind myself that this body is not my own and therefor I need to take care of it like I care for anything else that belongs to someone else. It's a gift that I get to use for a short time and I need to put in the sweat (literally) in order to keep it in the best condition it can be.
These are just a couple of areas that require hard work, but they serve well in supporting the truth; the best things in life often cost us the most. The key is to look at it day by day and lean on the Lord for strength. I could not grow in my faith, stay healthy, or really do anything else for that matter without Jesus. I am nothing without the Lord, but thankfully
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13
Faith- Jesus became front and center in my life when I was sixteen. I had a couple of rocky years when I first hit the ground running; trying to live out Christianity as a high school student did not prove to be super smooth sailing for me. In college I began to realize the work I would have to put in to grow in my faith. It meant choosing some new friends who could encourage me in my walk. It meant daily obedience in studying God's word. It meant dying daily to my own flesh- and my flesh can be pretty tough to kill. It still means those same things today. I fall short many days and am thankful for His grace. Every time I fall, I get back up and continue walking in the light. Living out my faith is certainly not easy, but it's oh so worth it.
"I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God's heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14
Health - Oh how I have been around the block a time or two battling my own self-image. I have gained weight, lost it, gained it again, and lost it once more (not counting pregnancy)! My best friend Sarah told me that she saw only slight differences in my weight from pictures where I weighed more (every girl needs a best friend like Sarah), but the struggle was very extreme for me in a psychological sense. I finally accepted that if being healthy is so important to me, I am going to have to put in hard work. Sometimes I don't want to say no to extra ice cream or wake up early to workout. Most of the time I really want seconds and thirds when it comes to dessert actually. But each day I try to remind myself that this body is not my own and therefor I need to take care of it like I care for anything else that belongs to someone else. It's a gift that I get to use for a short time and I need to put in the sweat (literally) in order to keep it in the best condition it can be.
These are just a couple of areas that require hard work, but they serve well in supporting the truth; the best things in life often cost us the most. The key is to look at it day by day and lean on the Lord for strength. I could not grow in my faith, stay healthy, or really do anything else for that matter without Jesus. I am nothing without the Lord, but thankfully
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13
Thursday, June 16, 2011
This. just. happened.
Yesterday I had to run to Wal-Mart to get a few things and my worst nightmare could not have prepared me for the experience I was about to encounter. Okay, maybe I am being a little dramatic, but only a little.
Things were going as close to smooth as possible until I needed deli meat. It was our last stop before the checkout line and anyone with a small child knows that when you are in public your child is like a timer- the closer you get to the end of the trip the worse their behavior gets. Brooke had held herself together the whole time but now she was ready to get out of the cart and eat something. As I walked up to the counter, a pregnant woman and her husband sidled in beside me. I looked the other direction for about a millisecond and when I turned back to give my order they had somehow gotten the worker to wait on them first. It was irritating, but I brushed it off and told myself that maybe she was having a massive pregnancy craving and needed some deli meat ASAP. Ten minutes later when she was still deciding which meat she wanted by “sampling” each and every kind, I had lost most of my compassion. Meanwhile, Brooke had also lost her patience. As we waited in line while the couple ordered one lb. of three different types of meat, Brooke’s wines turned to shrieking which then turned to blood curdling screams. She dumped her cheerios on the ground and as I was crouched down, sweeping them off the oh-so sanitary Wal-Mart floor and into my purse, she began hitting me on the top of the head. All the psychology classes I have had in my lifetime cannot help when my child is having a fit at the grocery store. At this point I began to sweat. I don’t know if it was from the physical work of repeatedly picking up cheerios and things that were getting thrown out of the cart, or because my body was signaling a distress message to my brain. “Help! We’re under attack!”
About five hours later (or thirty minutes…really the same difference when you have a toddler with you), the couple finished getting their meat. I wanted so badly to inform the meat swindling pregnant lady that SHE would soon be the woman in Wal-Mart with a screaming child, but instead I just smiled politely and asked for my half lb of turkey. Brooke continued her tantrum all the way out to the car. As I was bent over and struggling to get this squirming, rage filled child into her car seat, a gust of wind caught my lose fitting shirt and actually blew it up, exposing my midriff plus some. My hands were tied up trying to strap in the wild child so it was a good thirty seconds before I could free them and pull my shirt down. Some fourteen year old kid made a cat call and I almost lost it. At that point I may have mumbled a choice word, and then I asked God if He was serious. Of course, He was. He was seriously trying to teach me patience…and I seriously needed the lesson. After arriving at home without somehow losing my mind, I vowed to never take Brooke grocery shopping again. However, I’m sure that in about two days we will run out of something and the whole cycle will replay in some fashion. Welcome to the world of being a mom.
Things were going as close to smooth as possible until I needed deli meat. It was our last stop before the checkout line and anyone with a small child knows that when you are in public your child is like a timer- the closer you get to the end of the trip the worse their behavior gets. Brooke had held herself together the whole time but now she was ready to get out of the cart and eat something. As I walked up to the counter, a pregnant woman and her husband sidled in beside me. I looked the other direction for about a millisecond and when I turned back to give my order they had somehow gotten the worker to wait on them first. It was irritating, but I brushed it off and told myself that maybe she was having a massive pregnancy craving and needed some deli meat ASAP. Ten minutes later when she was still deciding which meat she wanted by “sampling” each and every kind, I had lost most of my compassion. Meanwhile, Brooke had also lost her patience. As we waited in line while the couple ordered one lb. of three different types of meat, Brooke’s wines turned to shrieking which then turned to blood curdling screams. She dumped her cheerios on the ground and as I was crouched down, sweeping them off the oh-so sanitary Wal-Mart floor and into my purse, she began hitting me on the top of the head. All the psychology classes I have had in my lifetime cannot help when my child is having a fit at the grocery store. At this point I began to sweat. I don’t know if it was from the physical work of repeatedly picking up cheerios and things that were getting thrown out of the cart, or because my body was signaling a distress message to my brain. “Help! We’re under attack!”
About five hours later (or thirty minutes…really the same difference when you have a toddler with you), the couple finished getting their meat. I wanted so badly to inform the meat swindling pregnant lady that SHE would soon be the woman in Wal-Mart with a screaming child, but instead I just smiled politely and asked for my half lb of turkey. Brooke continued her tantrum all the way out to the car. As I was bent over and struggling to get this squirming, rage filled child into her car seat, a gust of wind caught my lose fitting shirt and actually blew it up, exposing my midriff plus some. My hands were tied up trying to strap in the wild child so it was a good thirty seconds before I could free them and pull my shirt down. Some fourteen year old kid made a cat call and I almost lost it. At that point I may have mumbled a choice word, and then I asked God if He was serious. Of course, He was. He was seriously trying to teach me patience…and I seriously needed the lesson. After arriving at home without somehow losing my mind, I vowed to never take Brooke grocery shopping again. However, I’m sure that in about two days we will run out of something and the whole cycle will replay in some fashion. Welcome to the world of being a mom.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Fireplace Makeover
After three years of living in this house and seeing an ugly fireplace every day of my life, I took the plunge(thanks to a little encouragement from my lovely neighbor who also tired of her drab fireplace).
"Oh don't paint it..." people cautioned, "the stone has such charm!" I disagreed. I know that perhaps one day someone else will live in this house and will wish the stone was still au natural, but they don't live here right now. I do. I say goodbye ugly 80's and hello white. I love the power of white paint. This took about three coats of white Kilz and a lot of patience. The ends definitely justified the means. The best part about this dramatic change is that it cost less than 20$!
"Oh don't paint it..." people cautioned, "the stone has such charm!" I disagreed. I know that perhaps one day someone else will live in this house and will wish the stone was still au natural, but they don't live here right now. I do. I say goodbye ugly 80's and hello white. I love the power of white paint. This took about three coats of white Kilz and a lot of patience. The ends definitely justified the means. The best part about this dramatic change is that it cost less than 20$!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 30: 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
I have made it to day 30! I'll be honest, I was convinced this day would never come. This challenge seemed to drag on longer than a toddler's tantrum in church. Nonetheless, here we are, so now I get to be an optimist and focus on five good things.
1. I got a chance to sing worship on stage with North Point Church's Music and Creative Arts team. Actually I got two chances, and I will have one more chance this Sunday. After that I am not going to be singing with them anymore because the hours they put in are crazy! Talk about dedication.
2. I finished three more graduate classes. Check. Check. Check. Now only five hundred more, or something like that.
3. I had a very spiritual encounter one night when I was praying hard and reading God's word. One day I might share more about it on here, but right now I just want to say that God is amazing and very close to us.
4. I painted our ugly 80's fireplace white, and it makes a huge difference in the living room. I love, love, love the results! That's another post that is coming soon too.
5. Thomas finished building Brooke's play house and did an awesome job! Now we have the best little play house in the neighbor hood. So thankful to have a husband that is such an amazing dad.
The end!
1. I got a chance to sing worship on stage with North Point Church's Music and Creative Arts team. Actually I got two chances, and I will have one more chance this Sunday. After that I am not going to be singing with them anymore because the hours they put in are crazy! Talk about dedication.
2. I finished three more graduate classes. Check. Check. Check. Now only five hundred more, or something like that.
3. I had a very spiritual encounter one night when I was praying hard and reading God's word. One day I might share more about it on here, but right now I just want to say that God is amazing and very close to us.
4. I painted our ugly 80's fireplace white, and it makes a huge difference in the living room. I love, love, love the results! That's another post that is coming soon too.
5. Thomas finished building Brooke's play house and did an awesome job! Now we have the best little play house in the neighbor hood. So thankful to have a husband that is such an amazing dad.
The end!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Day 29: Three wishes
It's storming, Brooke's napping, and my brain says no more homework. Time to blog.
1. I wish I was finished with grad school so I could devote my nights to my family instead of homework. I started this degree a year and a half ago, and I still have a year and a half to go. Going part time is the only way I could swing it and still be a good mom and wife (which of course, it always my top priority). I feel like I have been in school forever. Come on self, wasn't four years of undergrad enough torture? You just had to go back for more didn't you?
2. I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller....oh, excuse me, sub-intentional flashback to the 90's there. What I meant to type was that I wish I could spend all my down time devouring Interior Design magazines, books and tackling room projects. There is nothing quite like a well decorated room.
3. I wish it was good timing to go ahead and start working on giving Brooke a brother or sister. Can we say baby fever? I know if we have another baby before I finish grad school, I'll probably go insane, but I am so ready (and so is Brooke, I know this because I asked her). I guess this circles back to number one, which makes it a good place to end this post.
1. I wish I was finished with grad school so I could devote my nights to my family instead of homework. I started this degree a year and a half ago, and I still have a year and a half to go. Going part time is the only way I could swing it and still be a good mom and wife (which of course, it always my top priority). I feel like I have been in school forever. Come on self, wasn't four years of undergrad enough torture? You just had to go back for more didn't you?
2. I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller....oh, excuse me, sub-intentional flashback to the 90's there. What I meant to type was that I wish I could spend all my down time devouring Interior Design magazines, books and tackling room projects. There is nothing quite like a well decorated room.
3. I wish it was good timing to go ahead and start working on giving Brooke a brother or sister. Can we say baby fever? I know if we have another baby before I finish grad school, I'll probably go insane, but I am so ready (and so is Brooke, I know this because I asked her). I guess this circles back to number one, which makes it a good place to end this post.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day 24: Something I've learned
Well, thankfully I've learned lots, but that doesn't mean that I don't still have lots to learn! There are so many directions a blogging gal like myself could go with this question. I could tell you about the fascinating facts pertaining to the human psychological condition I've learned about in graduate school. I could tell you about some new creative projects I've attempted thanks to checking out decorating books from the fabulous library. I could tell you about the latest books I have read, mainly focusing on food, and how much we as Westerners are really getting it wrong in this area. If I really wanted to write a book, I could tell you about the vast amount of information I have learned from my (almost) two year old- she's a great teacher! All of those subjects would make for great posts, but the most important thing I've learned is this:
I have learned I am nothing without God. I have learned life is not about me, it's about HIM.
May I use every breath of every day to somehow bring glory to my creator!
I have learned I am nothing without God. I have learned life is not about me, it's about HIM.
May I use every breath of every day to somehow bring glory to my creator!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Day 23: Changing the rules because I can
If only I were one of those people who could leave something unfinished, but alas, I am the furthest personality type from the go-with-the-flow mentality. If I were one of the easy going individuals that I often admire in so many ways, I would stop this little blogging challenge right now. Fun as it may have started out, I've grown weary of the dull subject matter and have concluded that these types of questions, although fun to answer in a quick email survey taken while avoiding homework or housework, become lackluster as the challenge progresses. We all like to talk about ourselves, but for thirty days straight? I think even Zoolander may have grown tired of the daily personal divulgence. With that being said, I confess again that I am unable to just quit without seeing something out until the end. So I'm compromising. I will "finish" the challenge by answering only the days left that I so choose to answer.
Day 23: PASS (Favorite Movie)
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: PASS (Picture of your favorite band/artist)
Day 26: PASS (Your Dream Wedding)
Day 27: PASS (Original Photo of the city you live in)
Day 28: PASS (Pet Peeves)
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
As you may see, I have chosen to pass on all except days 24, 29, and 30. If I am reading (and counting) right, that means I only have three days of the challenge left!
Day 23: PASS (Favorite Movie)
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: PASS (Picture of your favorite band/artist)
Day 26: PASS (Your Dream Wedding)
Day 27: PASS (Original Photo of the city you live in)
Day 28: PASS (Pet Peeves)
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
As you may see, I have chosen to pass on all except days 24, 29, and 30. If I am reading (and counting) right, that means I only have three days of the challenge left!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Day 21: Favorite picture of yourself of all time
Okay, I fell off the wagon but I am getting back on. There are 9 more days left of this challenge and I am going to finish strong. Mainly because I hate to start something and then not finish.
Favorite picture of myself? Here it is:
This is the day after I had Brooke. We hadn't left the hospital yet. I had been up for 48 hours straight, having a baby for twelve of those hours, and then up with her the whole first night trying to learn how to breastfeed. I was exhausted, in pain, and thirty pounds heavier than I normally am, but I didn't care. I slapped on some lip gloss and held the love of my life as close as I could. I was proud of myself for surviving child birth and amazed by God's grace. The days ahead would be more challenging than anything I had ever experienced, but all I knew was that I was in love!
Favorite picture of myself? Here it is:
This is the day after I had Brooke. We hadn't left the hospital yet. I had been up for 48 hours straight, having a baby for twelve of those hours, and then up with her the whole first night trying to learn how to breastfeed. I was exhausted, in pain, and thirty pounds heavier than I normally am, but I didn't care. I slapped on some lip gloss and held the love of my life as close as I could. I was proud of myself for surviving child birth and amazed by God's grace. The days ahead would be more challenging than anything I had ever experienced, but all I knew was that I was in love!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Day 19: Something you miss
This is the perfect weekend to end up at day 19's topic. This weekend was Potter's House Alumni weekend. The Potter's House is a non-profit coffee house across from the Missouri State University campus. They are more than a coffee house though, they are a ministry. Coffee is how they get students in the door, and then once in, the wonderful owners, staff, and volunteer that run the "Po Ho" (as we call it) minister to the students. They don't hand out tracks or tell every one they see to get saved, but they do live out love and are always there so that students have a place to go if they don't feel like going out drinking with the rest of the college population.
When I was a freshmen in college I was pretty new to trying to live out my faith. I would hate to see the direction I could have gone in if it hadn't been for The Potters House, its founders Berna and Steve Proffitt, and all of the wonderful friends I made there...not to mention all of the bible and book studies I attended there that helped shape my faith.
As I think about something I miss today, I think about the countless late nights I spent learning what Christianity really looks like at The Potter's House. I learned so much during the four years I was in college, but I would venture to say that the most important things I learned during that time were taught to me outside of the classroom.
By the way, if you live in or around Springfield Missouri and have never been to the Potter's House, you have got to check this place out. They have the most amazing ( & most affordable) coffee and specialty drinks in town, not to mention a one of a kind atmosphere!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Day 18: Favorite Food
Here's the thing, I really do enjoy eating healthy, so when I tell you that I love salads, broccoli, and other veggie loaded dishes, I'm not lying!
I guess I just enjoy eating foods that I know are wonderful for my body. After all, the body is a temple. Nutrients are usually found in colorful foods so when I eat, I have a "the more color the better" outlook. I have an insatiable sweet tooth too though,so I'm not a saint when it comes to eating. Let's just be honest here, food is amazing and it is wonderful that God has given us our taste buds to enjoy the nourishment He provides.
Favorite Fruits:
Strawberries, cantaloupe, apples, peaches, pears, pineapple and dried fruit of any kind.
Favorite Vegetables:
Broccoli, romaine lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, zucchini,spaghetti squash, black olives, artichoke hearts and red peppers.
Favorite Sweets:
Trail mix with chocolate chips, frozen yogurt, pecan pie, and cookies of any kind as long as they are the right texture. Is that weird?
Well, I don't know about you but now I am hungry.
I guess I just enjoy eating foods that I know are wonderful for my body. After all, the body is a temple. Nutrients are usually found in colorful foods so when I eat, I have a "the more color the better" outlook. I have an insatiable sweet tooth too though,so I'm not a saint when it comes to eating. Let's just be honest here, food is amazing and it is wonderful that God has given us our taste buds to enjoy the nourishment He provides.
Favorite Fruits:
Strawberries, cantaloupe, apples, peaches, pears, pineapple and dried fruit of any kind.
Favorite Vegetables:
Broccoli, romaine lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, zucchini,spaghetti squash, black olives, artichoke hearts and red peppers.
Favorite Sweets:
Trail mix with chocolate chips, frozen yogurt, pecan pie, and cookies of any kind as long as they are the right texture. Is that weird?
Well, I don't know about you but now I am hungry.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day 16: Dream House
When I first skimmed through the subjects for the blogging challenge, one of the subjects I was most excited about was today's post. It is an area I have put a lot of thought into.
We live in a small, 3 bedroom 2 bathroom home. When we first moved in I had the mindset that this home would "do for a while" until we could move up to a bigger home. These days, however, as my priorities have changed, my mindset has too. First I analyzed why I was wanting to live here only a short time and then move to a bigger house. My realization? I was just following the flow of culture and trying to "keep up with the Jones". As I questioned my motives, God got a hold of my heart and Dave Ramsey got a hold of my logic. Instead of thinking we will move out of this house as soon as we can, I now look at it in a "how many kids can we fit in this house" mentality. Staying in a smaller house means we can afford for me to be a stay at home mom, and that is something I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, not even a mansion. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it is wrong to live in a large house, I just think as humans we need to constantly be examining and reexamining our motives and priorities. If we have to sacrifice time with our families or deal with huge amounts of stress in order to live in these nice homes, is it really worth it?
Now that I have accepted my humble abode, it has become my dream house. I love interior design and I am constantly trying to make my world a more beautiful place. Things that make my house my dream home are whimsy, charm, character, romance and color. I play with these elements daily and have enjoyed the journey of personalizing our home. We may one day live in a larger house, but until then I am fully content with our cozy little love nest!
We live in a small, 3 bedroom 2 bathroom home. When we first moved in I had the mindset that this home would "do for a while" until we could move up to a bigger home. These days, however, as my priorities have changed, my mindset has too. First I analyzed why I was wanting to live here only a short time and then move to a bigger house. My realization? I was just following the flow of culture and trying to "keep up with the Jones". As I questioned my motives, God got a hold of my heart and Dave Ramsey got a hold of my logic. Instead of thinking we will move out of this house as soon as we can, I now look at it in a "how many kids can we fit in this house" mentality. Staying in a smaller house means we can afford for me to be a stay at home mom, and that is something I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, not even a mansion. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it is wrong to live in a large house, I just think as humans we need to constantly be examining and reexamining our motives and priorities. If we have to sacrifice time with our families or deal with huge amounts of stress in order to live in these nice homes, is it really worth it?
Now that I have accepted my humble abode, it has become my dream house. I love interior design and I am constantly trying to make my world a more beautiful place. Things that make my house my dream home are whimsy, charm, character, romance and color. I play with these elements daily and have enjoyed the journey of personalizing our home. We may one day live in a larger house, but until then I am fully content with our cozy little love nest!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Day 15: Favorite Bible Verse
It is tough to narrow this down as I am head over heels in love with God's word as a whole, but I have managed to pick one. This particular verse is one that I actually had tattooed on me when I was 19 because it resonated with me so deeply.
Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Growing up in a very visual and appearance focused culture is so hard on women. We observe time and time again how important looks are to this world. Attractive people even earn 12% more in the work place than "unattractive people"(see www.independent.co.uk). And it just gets worse from there. Plainly put, to this world, looks matter.
To God, beauty is very important. He wants us to have beautiful hearts full of compassion and kindness. I struggled growing up with not feeling "pretty enough", and I am positive I am not the only woman who has ever felt this way. It is hard to shut the world out and focus on what God thinks, but that is why I so love this verse. External beauty is here today and gone tomorrow. A women who worships and fears the one true God, she is who really deserves praise in this backwards culture we live in!
Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Growing up in a very visual and appearance focused culture is so hard on women. We observe time and time again how important looks are to this world. Attractive people even earn 12% more in the work place than "unattractive people"(see www.independent.co.uk). And it just gets worse from there. Plainly put, to this world, looks matter.
To God, beauty is very important. He wants us to have beautiful hearts full of compassion and kindness. I struggled growing up with not feeling "pretty enough", and I am positive I am not the only woman who has ever felt this way. It is hard to shut the world out and focus on what God thinks, but that is why I so love this verse. External beauty is here today and gone tomorrow. A women who worships and fears the one true God, she is who really deserves praise in this backwards culture we live in!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Day 14: A picture of you from last year and how you have changed
This blogging challenge is starting to make me feel a little narcissistic! I am looking forward to the days of the blogging challenge that are a little less self focused, but until then I will be a good sport and play along.
This is a picture of me last March.
Oh wait, that's Posh Spice. I'm always confusing myself with her, probably because my husband looks like David Beckham. Okay, here I am last Easter. Really no change this year except for my hair is finally getting longer again. Brooke has changed though, she is twice the size!
This is a picture of me last March.
Oh wait, that's Posh Spice. I'm always confusing myself with her, probably because my husband looks like David Beckham. Okay, here I am last Easter. Really no change this year except for my hair is finally getting longer again. Brooke has changed though, she is twice the size!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Day 13: Something that means a lot to me
MY FAITH
This is an old note that I had posted on facebook almost a year and a half ago. I am reposting it here because it talks about the things that matter most to me in this life; kindness, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and most of all, LOVE.
You know, I really don't care for "religion" in a legalistic sense. Christianity is not so much a religion either. Not for me. It’s a way of life, and Christianity (living in a Christ like way) looks a lot of different ways for a lot of different people. Of course Christians should all be kind, forgiving, humble, gentle...but as far as how we worship, what we look like, our attitudes and even our beliefs, we vary. We don't all have gray hair, glasses, a long skirt, and drive around in a mini van saying "God bless you". That is what's beautiful; we are all so very different, but all united through LOVE.
I have heard plenty of people give the popular argument that Christians are hypocrites, and that's true (sometimes). BUT the difference between Christians and non Christians is that we are simply striving to be like Christ. Let me make one thing clear; WE FALL SHORT. We will disappoint ourselves, our friends, and our God. Even so, our God loves us and accepts that we are flawed as mankind.
I work with some people who know I'm a Christian and yet hear me when I slip up and say something bad about a customer or know about some huge mistakes I've made. I hope by working with me they see not that Christians are hypocrites, but that we are simply like every one else, just trying to do right in an imperfect world.
Since my beautiful baby girl was born three and a half months ago I have learned so much about God's love for us. His love is unconditional. Sure, I knew that because I had heard it in church a lot. However, I didn't know what unconditional love was. I didn't even love my husband unconditionally because when he would make me mad I would treat him horribly. (He is much better at unconditional love than I am!) Now I am trying to love him unconditionally in the same way I love my daughter and in the same way our God loves us. Nothing my daughter does, not anything, could ever make me stop loving her. She could become a prostitute, a murderer, a thief, wouldn't matter...my love for her would not change. I would be disappointed in her, sure, BUT only because I want happiness for her and I know those particular life choices would only lead to heartbreak. That is, I believe, the same way God feels about us.
I try to encourage my coworkers, friends, and family with being positive, kind, humble, and gentle, but in reality I fall so very short on most days. I know that since I am claiming the title of being a Christian, I need to work very, very hard to properly represent my loving Father. I suck at this, representing God that is. But but but, I’m striving.
I watched Angels and Demons last night and there was a quote I really liked, "Religion is flawed because man is flawed". And this is true. Religion is flawed, God is not.
So as Christians it is not our place to judge the world or the people in it. It is not our job to fix the world either (although I wish I could). Our job is simply to live in a broken world and show others what God's grace looks like. One day I hope when people look at me, He is all they see
This is an old note that I had posted on facebook almost a year and a half ago. I am reposting it here because it talks about the things that matter most to me in this life; kindness, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and most of all, LOVE.
You know, I really don't care for "religion" in a legalistic sense. Christianity is not so much a religion either. Not for me. It’s a way of life, and Christianity (living in a Christ like way) looks a lot of different ways for a lot of different people. Of course Christians should all be kind, forgiving, humble, gentle...but as far as how we worship, what we look like, our attitudes and even our beliefs, we vary. We don't all have gray hair, glasses, a long skirt, and drive around in a mini van saying "God bless you". That is what's beautiful; we are all so very different, but all united through LOVE.
I have heard plenty of people give the popular argument that Christians are hypocrites, and that's true (sometimes). BUT the difference between Christians and non Christians is that we are simply striving to be like Christ. Let me make one thing clear; WE FALL SHORT. We will disappoint ourselves, our friends, and our God. Even so, our God loves us and accepts that we are flawed as mankind.
I work with some people who know I'm a Christian and yet hear me when I slip up and say something bad about a customer or know about some huge mistakes I've made. I hope by working with me they see not that Christians are hypocrites, but that we are simply like every one else, just trying to do right in an imperfect world.
Since my beautiful baby girl was born three and a half months ago I have learned so much about God's love for us. His love is unconditional. Sure, I knew that because I had heard it in church a lot. However, I didn't know what unconditional love was. I didn't even love my husband unconditionally because when he would make me mad I would treat him horribly. (He is much better at unconditional love than I am!) Now I am trying to love him unconditionally in the same way I love my daughter and in the same way our God loves us. Nothing my daughter does, not anything, could ever make me stop loving her. She could become a prostitute, a murderer, a thief, wouldn't matter...my love for her would not change. I would be disappointed in her, sure, BUT only because I want happiness for her and I know those particular life choices would only lead to heartbreak. That is, I believe, the same way God feels about us.
I try to encourage my coworkers, friends, and family with being positive, kind, humble, and gentle, but in reality I fall so very short on most days. I know that since I am claiming the title of being a Christian, I need to work very, very hard to properly represent my loving Father. I suck at this, representing God that is. But but but, I’m striving.
I watched Angels and Demons last night and there was a quote I really liked, "Religion is flawed because man is flawed". And this is true. Religion is flawed, God is not.
So as Christians it is not our place to judge the world or the people in it. It is not our job to fix the world either (although I wish I could). Our job is simply to live in a broken world and show others what God's grace looks like. One day I hope when people look at me, He is all they see
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day 10: What are you afraid of?
God's word tells us to 'fear not' on many occasions. Here are just a few examples:
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
And although we know He tells us not to be afraid, this world is still a very scary place. Most of us struggle with some kind of fear or another. For me, as childish as it may seem to some, I am scared of the dark. I hate, almost more than anything, to be alone in a pitch black room. I still sleep with some kind of night light on, even if it is just the light given off by a bright digital clock. I'm not sure what I think will happen in the dark, I just don't like not being able to see. In a more metaphorical sense, I also fear being in a spiritual or emotional dark place.
There have been times in my past when I've encountered some pretty black places. Quite fortunately, I am aware that God's word is the light that will lead me out of any present darkness.
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
And although we know He tells us not to be afraid, this world is still a very scary place. Most of us struggle with some kind of fear or another. For me, as childish as it may seem to some, I am scared of the dark. I hate, almost more than anything, to be alone in a pitch black room. I still sleep with some kind of night light on, even if it is just the light given off by a bright digital clock. I'm not sure what I think will happen in the dark, I just don't like not being able to see. In a more metaphorical sense, I also fear being in a spiritual or emotional dark place.
There have been times in my past when I've encountered some pretty black places. Quite fortunately, I am aware that God's word is the light that will lead me out of any present darkness.
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Day 9: A picture of someone you could not imagine your life without
The first person who comes to mind is this little lovely. Brooke has taught me more about life in 18 months than I've learned on my own in 23 years. I am still in awe that I brought this little unique and astounding individual into the world and I thank God for her every single day.
I could also not imagine my life without my two closest friends; Sarah and Elizabeth.
Sarah came into my life at just the right time and we became best friends almost overnight. We worked together for three years at the bank. We've talked about anything and everything you could ever imagine. Life would be empty without my besty!
Elizabeth and I met at North Point Church and I have been in her small group for the past few years. We are now accountability partners and, let me tell you, it is so amazing what a good accountability partner can do for one's spiritual life! I am going to tell you a secret just for reading my blog. Are you ready? If you have been wondering who super woman is, wonder no more...it's Elizabeth!
I could also not imagine my life without my two closest friends; Sarah and Elizabeth.
Sarah came into my life at just the right time and we became best friends almost overnight. We worked together for three years at the bank. We've talked about anything and everything you could ever imagine. Life would be empty without my besty!
Elizabeth and I met at North Point Church and I have been in her small group for the past few years. We are now accountability partners and, let me tell you, it is so amazing what a good accountability partner can do for one's spiritual life! I am going to tell you a secret just for reading my blog. Are you ready? If you have been wondering who super woman is, wonder no more...it's Elizabeth!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day 8: A pace you've traveled to
I am not a well traveled girl, but in 2008 I got the chance to go to London with my friend Sandy. We also went to Paris for a few days which is when I got the picture of the rainbow under the Eiffel. Hoping to travel abroad a bit more with Thomas someday, but not until our kids are much older!
Sandy and I-first time on the streets in London
Sandy and I-first time on the streets in London
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Day 7: Favorite Movies
I really enjoy movies. Thomas and I rent a red-box at least once a weekend (although lately I have discovered you can check out movies for FREE from the library!)Below are my top 12, from all different genre's. If there is a movie on this list that you have not seen, I strongly recommend watching it!
1. Invictus
2. Fireproof
3. Madea's Family Reunion
4. Anchorman
5. The Devil Wears Prada
6. Despicable Me
7. Memento
8. Up
9. Avatar
10.Spanglish
11. Lady in the Water
12. Gran Torino
1. Invictus
2. Fireproof
3. Madea's Family Reunion
4. Anchorman
5. The Devil Wears Prada
6. Despicable Me
7. Memento
8. Up
9. Avatar
10.Spanglish
11. Lady in the Water
12. Gran Torino
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
This is a picture from when I got to visit France in 2008 and see the Eiffel Tower. If you look closely under the tower, you will see there was actually a rainbow! I felt like God was telling me that it doesn't matter where on this earth I travel to, He is still God and He is always near. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. "I am with you always, even to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:20
Monday, March 7, 2011
Day 4: My Parents
This cute little blonde is my mom. She taught elementary school in Sparta for over twenty years. A couple of years ago she retired and has become a full time Nana to her three grand daughters. She is always willing to help us when we need a babysitter, or help us in any other way she can. She is very generous and has a wonderful heart. I think she has a little feisty streak too. If you ask me one would have to in order to spend their whole life working around small children. Now that I'm a mom, I of course have a whole new respect for my mom. It is the hardest job in the world and she did a wonderful job raising my sister and I (a lot of the time time as a single mom). I love you mom!
My dad is a free spirit and a rolling stone. He is incredibly talented musically and sings folk music. He has a very big heart and a hilarious sense of humor. He also looks like Mario from Nintendo brothers a little. Although him and my mom have been split since I was little, he was still able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. When we are able to spend time with him we really appreciate his unique and genuine heart. I can honestly say there is absolutely no one in the world like my dad!
My dad is a free spirit and a rolling stone. He is incredibly talented musically and sings folk music. He has a very big heart and a hilarious sense of humor. He also looks like Mario from Nintendo brothers a little. Although him and my mom have been split since I was little, he was still able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. When we are able to spend time with him we really appreciate his unique and genuine heart. I can honestly say there is absolutely no one in the world like my dad!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Day 3: First Love
The question for day 3 asks who my first love was. That's hard to answer mainly because love has a lot of different operational definitions. However, for the purpose of this question I am going way back to kindergarten. His name was Zach Irby and all I remember was that he had jet black hair, tan skin, and would sometimes wear gold chains to school with his parachute pants. In my little five year old brain, he was perfect. Of course, I am aware now that he was simply my first crush and I have luckily been able to experience the difference between a crush and true love since then. It's also safe to say that when I was growing up I gave my heart away too easily. It doesn't really matter who my first real love was, all that matters is that I am married to my love now! This warrants another picture of my hot husband doing something manly.
I probably won't be keeping up with the challenge over the weekend, but I plan to pick back up on Monday. Have a great weekend every one!
I probably won't be keeping up with the challenge over the weekend, but I plan to pick back up on Monday. Have a great weekend every one!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Blogging Challenge Day 1
Things have been super crazy with Brooke and school lately, so what better time to take a challenge that requires me to spend more time blogging? Actually, doing something enjoyable for ten to twenty minutes every day is a great way to reduce stress; therefor it only makes sense that I should take this blogging challenge to reward myself for the long hours I put in studying and diaper changing. Here are the rules if you would like to also take the challenge! I may not do it every day, but I will try. (Thanks for passing this along Suzannah!)
Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Something you want to do before you die
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Something that means a lot to you
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite food
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Picture that always makes you smile
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Picture of your favorite band/artist
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Pet Peeves
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
Day 1: I have already introduced myself via the "about me" section. Here is a picture of me giving Ms. Brooke some loving.
15 interesting facts seem like a LOT. I'll do 7.
1. I love interior design almost as much as I love Psychology.
2. I have four tattoos, all small and discretely placed.
3. I love our church home, North Point Church, and am so glad to have found a place where believers seem to be genuinely living out love.
4. My husband proposed after only 3 months of dating.
5. I used to want to move to a big city, but now I'm honestly happy right where I'm at.
6. Life isn't about me, and I didn't truly know what joy was until I figured that out.
7. I tried out for the NPC Worship Team and have a second audition coming up next week. Whatever happens, I am just excited that I sang on stage by myself- it was way out of my comfort zone!
Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Something you want to do before you die
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Something that means a lot to you
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite food
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Picture that always makes you smile
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Picture of your favorite band/artist
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Pet Peeves
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
Day 1: I have already introduced myself via the "about me" section. Here is a picture of me giving Ms. Brooke some loving.
15 interesting facts seem like a LOT. I'll do 7.
1. I love interior design almost as much as I love Psychology.
2. I have four tattoos, all small and discretely placed.
3. I love our church home, North Point Church, and am so glad to have found a place where believers seem to be genuinely living out love.
4. My husband proposed after only 3 months of dating.
5. I used to want to move to a big city, but now I'm honestly happy right where I'm at.
6. Life isn't about me, and I didn't truly know what joy was until I figured that out.
7. I tried out for the NPC Worship Team and have a second audition coming up next week. Whatever happens, I am just excited that I sang on stage by myself- it was way out of my comfort zone!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Mon raison d'être
When I began this blog I was certain that I would post content mainly related to the integration of theology and psychology. However, as my different posts took shape, some of them were purely religious while others were secular in nature. Some were personal and talked only about familial experiences and some were just for fun. I tried to narrow my subject matter, but I just couldn't seem to commit!
I went through a couple different titles for the blog with the most recent being “La Famille Batson”, which gave tribute to my French ancestry and gave the inkling that posts would be mainly about our family. However, that is not exactly a match with content either.
Because I want to call the blog something that accurately reflects the content being published, I am changing the name once more. All I can promise from what I will write about is that I will write only about things that I believe are crucial and central to existence. For this reason I am renaming the blog “Raison d'être” which is literally, “reason for being.” It refers to anything that is central to our existence. It’s a perfect fit, and it still sounds beautiful because, well, what doesn’t sounds alluring en Français!?
One of my prime raison d'être....Thomas and I promising to "train our child in the way she should go..." (proverbs 22:6).
I went through a couple different titles for the blog with the most recent being “La Famille Batson”, which gave tribute to my French ancestry and gave the inkling that posts would be mainly about our family. However, that is not exactly a match with content either.
Because I want to call the blog something that accurately reflects the content being published, I am changing the name once more. All I can promise from what I will write about is that I will write only about things that I believe are crucial and central to existence. For this reason I am renaming the blog “Raison d'être” which is literally, “reason for being.” It refers to anything that is central to our existence. It’s a perfect fit, and it still sounds beautiful because, well, what doesn’t sounds alluring en Français!?
One of my prime raison d'être....Thomas and I promising to "train our child in the way she should go..." (proverbs 22:6).
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Gossip Girls
How strange. Last night I was lying in bed thinking that I wanted to blog about gossip. This morning I got up, sleepily turned on the nationwide news, and was surprised to see them doing a report on, you guessed it, gossip. That is not a common topic to report on, so I knew I would now definitely be posting on it. After all, it had already been on my mind and what the media had to say about gossip just drove my thoughts all the way home and walked them to the door. The popular morning news show (whose name I have politely omitted) reported that gossip “can actually be quite healthy” (this statement was not backed by research). One man on the show said “if someone is not a gossip, I won’t talk to them....because if someone isn’t gossiping, they must be dead! Every one gossips!” The show went on to talk about how gossip is a harmless pastime that can, at times, even serve as a bonding agent in relationships.
The truth is that gossip, like a tick, has imbedded its heinous little self into the core of our culture. While it does come naturally to most of us, it is far from healthy. Gossip has ruined many lives, broken thousands of hearts, and shattered relationships worldwide. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” I happen to whole-heartedly agree.
High school was full of it, and I had hoped that would be the end. To my horror, I discovered the world of gossip was only growing larger. When I worked at a bank for several years, some of the individuals I worked with there were harsher gossips than those that I went to school with. I wish I could claim to never have partaken, but there were times I would listen intently, and even pass along something that was none of my business. Each time it happened I wanted to slap myself silly. I have since made it a goal to never discuss individuals’ lives in a hurtful manner. None of us are exempt from the temptation, but all of us are responsible for bettering ourselves and our character.
So how do we avoid it? One rule of thumb I follow is that if I would not want it said about me, I would not say it about someone else. I am also aware that if someone is gossiping to me, they will likely turn around and gossip about me. Trying to put ourselves in others’ shoes really plays a central role in halting gossip. In The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, there are two statements that really apply. The first is, “Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution.” And the second, “Your character is essentially the sum of your habits.”
The truth is that gossip, like a tick, has imbedded its heinous little self into the core of our culture. While it does come naturally to most of us, it is far from healthy. Gossip has ruined many lives, broken thousands of hearts, and shattered relationships worldwide. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” I happen to whole-heartedly agree.
High school was full of it, and I had hoped that would be the end. To my horror, I discovered the world of gossip was only growing larger. When I worked at a bank for several years, some of the individuals I worked with there were harsher gossips than those that I went to school with. I wish I could claim to never have partaken, but there were times I would listen intently, and even pass along something that was none of my business. Each time it happened I wanted to slap myself silly. I have since made it a goal to never discuss individuals’ lives in a hurtful manner. None of us are exempt from the temptation, but all of us are responsible for bettering ourselves and our character.
So how do we avoid it? One rule of thumb I follow is that if I would not want it said about me, I would not say it about someone else. I am also aware that if someone is gossiping to me, they will likely turn around and gossip about me. Trying to put ourselves in others’ shoes really plays a central role in halting gossip. In The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, there are two statements that really apply. The first is, “Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution.” And the second, “Your character is essentially the sum of your habits.”
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