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Evelyn and Everette Tackett met when he was 25 and she was 21. She remembers the first time she saw him. She was walking on the side walk and he drove by. He later pointed her out and told his sister "that's the woman I'm going to marry." Marry her he did. The two soon added to their family and eventually found themselves smack dab in the middle of life-- working, balancing a household, and raising three striking (but feisty) brunette girls.
I recently visited Evelyn, my 89 year-old grandmother. Having had some rough relationships in the past, I wanted to spend the time soaking up her wisdom so as not to repeat my own mistakes. She spoke candidly about her life and had this to say on marriage:
"Do things together. Your grandpa liked to be social and I didn't so much, but I wanted to be with him. I think it's important to do things together. Love each other when you're fighting. He was awful patient with me. Sometimes we would get to arguing and he would leave, go to the store, and come back with a pretty for me, you know, a jewelry or bracelet or something nice. He always kept me laughing. He held my hand a lot and I liked that. It made me feel like he was proud to be with me, you know? Sometimes I still feel his hand on my right hand" she paused "-- it's either his hand, or God's hand, I suppose."
My grandfather passed away nearly five years ago. They were two months shy of celebrating their 64th wedding anniversary. My grandma's eyes-- eyes that have seen more than I dare to imagine-- light up with love when she talks about the life they shared together. "Oh yes, we had bad times. But we loved each other." After speaking for hours with my grandmother, I came to a conclusion. My grandparents' marriage made it because of LOVE.
Lest it seems I'm backing "All You Need Is Love" circa John Lennon, 1967...I'm not. At least, not our culturally defined, dopamine-seeking, self-motivated kind of love. No no. I'm stating that love holds a marriage together only if it's the real, biblical kind.
Love God and love each other, for love covers a multitude of sin. It's patient, kind, slow to anger, and keeps no record of wrongs. It doesn't envy or boast. It's not proud. It's not self-seeking. It delights in the truth. It always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for another. Now, faith, hope and love remain... but the greatest of these is love.
