One for the ladies

Dear Ladies,

As a follow up to the letter I wrote to the men (below), I’ve also thought a lot about what I want to say to you. This one’s harder because--well, I am one of you. Everything I say to you also becomes something I say to myself. So know that as I write this letter to you, I’m writing directly to myself as well. In all actuality, everything I said to the men I also say to you (with only a few changes).

You are not made to be the leader of the household, but you are made to be strong and beautiful.  Beautiful doesn't mean shiny lip gloss, size 2 whole-in-the-knee jeans and hot new pumps either. Remember that wisdom and a servant’s heart are far more valuable than anything you can see. Your beauty DOES come from within, regardless of how cliché that sounds and how backwards this world is. Read Proverbs 31. Read it again. Read it again. Read it again.

You are not controlled by your need for male attention. What's that? You don't want male attention you say? Next time you leave the house ask yourself why you’ve chosen the particular outfit you are wearing.  Sometimes I think women (myself included) dress in a provocative manner subconsciously because of the attention it can bring. We are human and attention feels good. Period.  If we are dressing without thinking, we have to start asking ourselves if what we are wearing is bringing glory to God or bringing attention to our female form in such a way that we end up bringing guys (AKA our brothers in Christ) to their knees!  If we are dressing provocatively on purpose, we also have to ask ourselves why…do we believe our worth is based only on how we look? Does attention make us feel powerful? Do we feel so bad about who we are that we need someone else to affirm us physically? Most importantly, what are we saying to our daughters by the way we present ourselves?

You are not defined by how many comments you got on that picture you just posted on facebook an hour ago.  You are not defined by your role as mom, by the number on the scale, by the degree you hold, or by the man in your life. You are not defined by your beautiful- or not so beautiful- house. We must remember that Christ and Christ alone is the One who defines us. Nuff said.

Love,

Your sista from another mista

To the real men in the room

Dear Men,

I've thought a lot about what I want to say to you, so here it is. I'm so excited to see you live out your purpose and turn this world upside down!  What must you do to make this happen? Simply stand up and be the man you were created to be!

You are not controlled by a need for recognition, power, or a souped-up Camaro.  When that high paying, 80-hour a week promotion is offered, try to think ahead to how this will affect your eulogy. On your death bed, will you be happy you spent most of your waking hours working on padding your bank account?

You are not controlled by lust, so when that mini-skirt walks by, raise your eyes to Jesus. When you are tempted to objectify a woman, remember that she is someone's precious little girl; she used to sit on her daddy's lap while sucking her thumb and watching Saturday morning cartoons. Try and see her soul instead of her boobs. Be faithful and pure both in action and in thought.  Trust me, it's not harder for men. If I can do it, you can do it. Promise.

Stand up and lead your family; this is what you were created to do! Deep down, you are called to be a warrior. Don't let our culture water down your purpose. Pick up a sword with one hand, the bible in the other, and  FIGHT!

If sin sneaks up beside you, RUN--don't walk-- in the other direction. Show us girls what you are really made of. Choose your movies, friends, and conversations wisely. We are what we eat. Do not partake in this trending, prolonged adolescence. Remember that your integrity is defined by the choices you make when no one is looking.

Don't just be the man who is "pretty good compared to all the other guys", be the man God created you to be. 

Love,

Lindsey

(A.K.A. Your sister in Christ who definitely doesn't have it all figured out yet, but who is dying to see you succeed in fulfilling your God given destiny!)

I'm gonna let it shine

Hello, little blog whom I have seemingly abandoned in the last six months. I did not forget about you. The past year has brought many changes; so many changes, in fact, that instead of saying I’m starting a new chapter in life I find it more appropriate to declare that I’m beginning a brand new book.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

The past few years have been transformative, to say the least;  I've watched my little girl transition from a babbling infant into a very outspoken young lady, survived a divorce (just barely), lost my father to cancer, completed an advanced psychology degree, moved three times, bought a house, and changed career fields. I think it is safe to say that the culmination of these events has led to my view of reality being slightly-if not entirely- altered. Thankfully, because I continue to press into Christ each moment of each day, it has been altered in the direction of Truth. I mean this to say that I look at the world today and stand firm in what I know- perhaps firmer now than ever before. Having seen darkness and felt its grip on my shoulder, I desire only light for the rest of my earthly days.

I believe in transparency, particularly around the area of faith. Anyone who ends up skimming the pages of my blog will immediately note my love affair with the Creator of the universe. My strong and public proclamation of love for my Savior may eventually cost me some things; I may not get a job I want because of my beliefs or I may be declined from a liberal doctoral program (I'm sure the employers/ board of admission would site "poor fit for given work environment", but we all know what that really means...."sorry, honey, your beliefs aren't welcome here"); I may not be asked to present at certain conferences for fear that I may speak of Jesus and all-together lose my audience in the process.  The truth is, my faith is a complete turn off for those who do not wish to discuss the big picture. Simply put, some people will just plain not like me. I know many people who live their lives to please others, but I refuse to live that way. If, indeed, I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galations 1:10).

We wouldn't light a lamp and hide it under a bowl, would we? Not quite. It makes much more sense to place it on a stand and allow it to give light to the whole house (Matthew 5:15). Neither would Jesus fill us with His light and ask us to keep it hidden. Although I've known much darkness and made countless mistakes, there undeniably exists a light in my soul. It has been placed there for a reason, of this I am certain. There are thousands of words skirting down the pages of this blog. My desire is that one thing I say might at some point serve as a light to one person who’s been basking in blackness for far too long. There is light in this world...God-willing, He'll use me to let it shine.

The eclectic big girl room

Over this past summer the need for a big girl room had come about…but this could not be just any ordinary big girl room, no sir, and no mam. This big girl room happened to be for an extraordinary little-big girl. I knew it had to be bright- (and, who are we kidding, it had to be pink.) I knew it had to be fit for a princess. I knew it had to be fun and stock piled with toys for rainy days. All of these challenges and still one more- I knew it had to be done on a very tight budget!

I started from scratch creating this room for my little princess. All pieces are A. from a garage sale (ie. check out the awesome four post bed one of my friends spotted for me at a local garage sale!) B. off of Craigslist or C. from a thrift store. In fact, the only new item in the room is the rug! It was a blast to treasure hunt for pieces that I knew would fit perfectly in my little treasure’s room. The stripes were painted on the accent wall using good old fashioned painter’s tape and a tape measure. Stripes plus a bit of whimsy and everything fell into place. And most importantly, at the reveal, Brooke squealed in sheer delight. Happy girl, happy mama, happy room!