How strange. Last night I was lying in bed thinking that I wanted to blog about gossip. This morning I got up, sleepily turned on the nationwide news, and was surprised to see them doing a report on, you guessed it, gossip. That is not a common topic to report on, so I knew I would now definitely be posting on it. After all, it had already been on my mind and what the media had to say about gossip just drove my thoughts all the way home and walked them to the door. The popular morning news show (whose name I have politely omitted) reported that gossip “can actually be quite healthy” (this statement was not backed by research). One man on the show said “if someone is not a gossip, I won’t talk to them....because if someone isn’t gossiping, they must be dead! Every one gossips!” The show went on to talk about how gossip is a harmless pastime that can, at times, even serve as a bonding agent in relationships.
The truth is that gossip, like a tick, has imbedded its heinous little self into the core of our culture. While it does come naturally to most of us, it is far from healthy. Gossip has ruined many lives, broken thousands of hearts, and shattered relationships worldwide. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” I happen to whole-heartedly agree.
High school was full of it, and I had hoped that would be the end. To my horror, I discovered the world of gossip was only growing larger. When I worked at a bank for several years, some of the individuals I worked with there were harsher gossips than those that I went to school with. I wish I could claim to never have partaken, but there were times I would listen intently, and even pass along something that was none of my business. Each time it happened I wanted to slap myself silly. I have since made it a goal to never discuss individuals’ lives in a hurtful manner. None of us are exempt from the temptation, but all of us are responsible for bettering ourselves and our character.
So how do we avoid it? One rule of thumb I follow is that if I would not want it said about me, I would not say it about someone else. I am also aware that if someone is gossiping to me, they will likely turn around and gossip about me. Trying to put ourselves in others’ shoes really plays a central role in halting gossip. In The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, there are two statements that really apply. The first is, “Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution.” And the second, “Your character is essentially the sum of your habits.”
